I Can't Sleep

[windowman]

Hey Folks-

This is a tune written by a friend and she wanted to get some feedback on it. I'm handling the production, so anything that sticks out in that area would also be appreciated. They don't have high speed, so that's why I'm the one posting it. I hope that's cool. I'll send them the link to the AR site though.

Anne Branton- Words & Music & all vocals.

Roger Branton- Bass.

Me- The other stuff.

Thanks,

Wade

I CAN'T SLEEP- IST MIX.mp3

(8.66 MiB) Downloaded 22 times

[HUD]

The lady's got a bit of a Stevie Nicks thing goin' on.
I kinda like the song, and while Stevie was never really my thing the vocal's hitting the notes, maybe feeling like she's a bit tentative and could just cut loose, get some fire and edge.
Right now the mix is sounding all bass, drums & vox, some good guitar tone and playing that needs to come up a couple clicks, then up that piano as well in the choruses maybe.
This song has a good chance to rock out, but never hits high gear...in particular, after the nice but not in my face enough guitar break, back to the chorus needs to go for broke.

[Peevette]

Taking a listen....

The vocals are lacking conviction and edge. There are bits where she sounds unsure and almost hesitant.

The echo vocals at the end should be further back in the mix, with a touch of echo. Should be haunting.

I concur with Hud's comments regarding the mix.

This tune is teasing to be a major rocking tune, but it never seems to make it to the climax........

[windowman]

Thanks for the listen Peeve & Hud. I'll wait to see if I get a few more reviews before I make any changes, although you've got me thinking now....

[pharquartt]

i like this. the vocals do seem a bit hot overall but i like the atmosphere. the band is nice and tight, great foundation.

as for "hesitancy" and "conviction", i see that more as more of a delivery style than lack of confidence. never would have thought Nicks on this one. interesting voice.

[Krispy]

never would have thought Nicks on this one. interesting voice.

Nah, it's a less irritated, seppo Marianne Faithfull.

What I hear is a rockin' band which has been subdued to accommodate a soft and tentative vocal. I think they need to meet each other somewhere in the middle. Same goes for the bass and the guitar; it's nice that they don't always follow one another but every now and then the song needs that fusion. The busy buzzy bass is overshadowing the rhythm.
Marianne only gets close to the energy of what's going on behind in places like 1:43. To me these pissed-off lyrics require a much more convincing delivery.
Get her to stand back from the mic and push it out from the ladyballs a bit more. Don't worry about losing the "nice" tone.

Song arrangement is sound, the hook works, the piano riff is great. Backing vocals would really work wonders - I hear space for big sweeping swell potential all over the place.

[Steve Ison]

I thought it was an interesting slightly dark pop song with good chord changes-a cool atmosphere a vibe that really reminded me of very early Blondie..'Took my soul on a plate-took it fast you didn't hesitate'-Is so Debbie Harry in her vocal delivery... The little piano licks on the chorus are ace..
Dunno what i'd do with the vocals..Maybe compress them more and drop them down in the mix...I DO like her voice more when she's cutting lose abit like on the DH example i gave...Wish her diction was better..
Are those real drums btw-they sound great ? 'Cos if you programmed them-thats fantastic..
Nice track tho..

[charvie]

Cool little tune, that could be much bigger. Less fuzz on the guitars and more gain would go a long way. I don't know man, it's a great tune that sounds caged or something, if that makes any sense to ya wade, at around 1:41 she really comes into herself vocally, and begins to go in the direction the vocals should go, but the song doesn't go with her. I really got a Divinyls vibe from this, and I like them quite a bit. This tune has a lot of potential. Very cool!!

[Krispy]

'Took my soul on a plate-took it fast you didn't hesitate'-Is so Debbie Harry in her vocal delivery...

Now that you mention it Ison, that line does call to mind the majesty of Kung Fu Girls. A bit of that Harry attitude on top'd be good.

[cjdenecia]

hmmmmm .... I really sorta like this song ....

on the production side, I do like the restrained intro but I think you should drop her vocal back about 5 db's - maybe a little less to match the subdued instrumentation and give the song the dynamic there you're looking for. right now it sounds as if you've left her volume at the same level as when the band kicks in - the same holds true at the end where the breakdown happens over the the title phrase - using software, it's really just a case of putting some volume envelopes in right? manually mixed, put your finger on the fader and push it up and down.

sorry ... forgot I wasn't talking to roxi. he's in my dreams day and night ya know. anyway, smoothing her into the mix as it goes up and down is what I'm saying.

all in all, I like her vocal sound. nice warm timbre with a bit of edge on the top. as for her delivery - it's intimate and easy to grab onto but yeah, a little more tude here and there will help loads. not to the point of growling or screaming but when she goes with the sassy voice, she really ought to put a bit more lung on it. she does have pretty good pitch, tone and her vibrato is excellent, partially cus it shines through after having held the note steady to begin with.

piano .... tickling ... pretty nice. other keys also done well. good spotting in and out.

drums - and bass actually, a bit more volume. drums seem well covered, just more presence. bass is a bit too punchy for this song though. a little less compression, a bit more warmth ... and though the lows are touched on, I think maybe just a bit more bottom is in order. then again, I do understand that I prefer to both hear and feel the bass on a regular basis - whereas some go for one or the other. but both drums and bass are well performed.

guitar action is all really well thought out. a bit generic but solid and appropriate. good combos and builds and the noodling and flares all sound good. if it were me, with this, I'd bring 'em up some (especially the lead)

choruses would benefit from some backing vocals - probably straight phrase harmonies.

whole sound is very clean but still has a pretty nice warmth to it. feels like the frequency territory is relatively well balanced and will be finished off nicely with final mastering.

this'll be something to be proud of - especially if ya'll do exactly as I say.


not a real great hook but it's a nice melody and the song flows well. good enough. go on then ...

[Mark Kaufman]

I like the vibe of this. Like it a lot. Is there too much compression on her lead vocal, or emphasis on low mids? I like her voice and interpretation...feels like it needs the right sonic translation, but I'm not sure how to do it. This is close! It's like I want to hear more of the dynamics of the voice, while still having all of it come through loud and clear.

I also want money.

[windowman]

I took some ideas suggested here, and narrowed my changes down to the general consensus of the forum hooligans. I brought up the guitars, brought the vocal down & rode the fader more as well as adjusting the EQ. (Sucked some low mids out.) Turned up the piano, and played around with the bass. I think this is a lot better now. This is the master.

Thanks for the help folks & Anne wanted to say thank you too.

Wade

I CAN'T SLEEP- MASTER 1 MP3.mp3

(5.16 MiB) Downloaded 12 times

[cjdenecia]

I took some ideas suggested here, and narrowed my changes down to the general consensus of the forum hooligans. I brought up the guitars, brought the vocal down & rode the fader more as well as adjusting the EQ. (Sucked some low mids out.) Turned up the piano, and played around with the bass. I think this is a lot better now. This is the master.

Thanks for the help folks & Anne wanted to say thank you too.

Wade

I CAN'T SLEEP- MASTER 1 MP3.mp3

I got nothing to moan about here. sounds like amongst other things - you pretty much handled everything I mentioned beyond any new performances. I can guess that a few might think the LV should now come up a bit but I like it as is - with it being the star but not standing so far above everything else to make it sound like it's a demo as much as a "band". personally, I can still make out every word so what more do ya need?

ohhh and the work on the guitars and piano is perfect. bass is still a little shallow and compressed but it sounds like you tried to pump some life into it and are dealing with recorded compression. so it's not so bad ...

very warm despite the changes. fits the tune. a bit more overall volume would float my boat but you obviously tried to maintain all dynamics of the performance and not fall into the square wave fad and I respect and enjoy that with this kind of song. (not that I could have stopped myself from smacking a 2:1 ratio job on it)

they ought to be real pleased with this wade. quite pro. good song. nice performances. ace. how hard was that for an easy 7K in studio work. we'll be expecting our cut asap.

[pharquartt]

Thanks for the help folks & Anne wanted to say thank you too.

then tell her to c'mon down and join the party. we don't bite......

[Krispy]

then tell her to c'mon down and join the party. we don't bite......

I was thinking the same thing. We still need more girls, even with Koff back.