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Audio Refugees • View topic - Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

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Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Postby Krispy » Tue Aug 27, 2013 6:14 am

Just finished this complete re-work of an old song of mine; I think it finally got the attention it deserved.
Unfortunately it refused to upload to Audiopolis so I hope the two or three people here who are still listening to other people will do me that honour. :-|

DDTSMix3.mp3
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Re: Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Postby HUD » Tue Aug 27, 2013 4:59 pm

Did she really say, "thorns from an ancient crown tell a story across your brow"?? Whoa...

Very sweet vocal, floating above an almost funky groove with some washy stuff around the edges. Felt like the apex might could've been alittle more of a big spill, but these ear buds here at work don't really ever properly fry my brain when they're supposed to, so I will give this another listen when I get home.

Hasn't been a Phlogiston tune yet that I didn't like...and this one sounds like about top 1/3 of that collection, which would be top 1/5 of the Kim collection.
As I returned across the lands I'd known
I recognized the fields where I'd once played
I had to stop in my tracks for fear
Of walking on the mines I'd laid
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Re: Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Postby ingolee » Tue Aug 27, 2013 6:22 pm

This is very polished and well done from start to finish, songwriting, musicianship, arranging, vocals, production, all perfectly done really. There was a little bit of vocal counterpoint at the end I liked a lot. Good stuff!

If I were to produce this band on this song I would strip the arrangement down to bare essentials and try and get a drum track that is less "drum machiney", and hopefully a more animated bass sound as well (not more notes though), try for more of a "live" sound. I like the funk style but all the sweet washey stuff is unnecessary; this singer is very sweet sounding on her own so I would try for a fuller, "earthier" sound from her. She does perfect BV's but I'd get somebody else for more contrast so we can hear the lyrics better. Not being critical here, it's just my personal preference.
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Re: Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Postby HUD » Tue Aug 27, 2013 6:31 pm

One thing about Kim doing her own b/u vocals is that she and her clones are so locked in together as to be otherworldly. She also tends to choose unconventional intervals and "walk like an egyptian" parallel lines for her harmony parts. Can't say I approve of every single instance, but have heard some things that are fabulously creative in that regard.
Definitely could go for a more organic approach with this song, which actually do seem to have a vaguely Sugarstick feel about it, minus 81% of the mayhem.
As I returned across the lands I'd known
I recognized the fields where I'd once played
I had to stop in my tracks for fear
Of walking on the mines I'd laid
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Re: Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Postby Krispy » Tue Aug 27, 2013 6:50 pm

Wow, thanks for your attentive listening chaps!

Seems I unintentionally jumped the gun here because there's another mix of this song come through, incorporating suggestions from 'The Knower of Things'. So I will post a new version soon, which is really a ploy to make you listen to it again :mrgreen:
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Re: Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Postby HUD » Fri Aug 30, 2013 5:09 pm

As I returned across the lands I'd known
I recognized the fields where I'd once played
I had to stop in my tracks for fear
Of walking on the mines I'd laid
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Re: Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Postby steban » Fri Aug 30, 2013 5:50 pm

I like the long ascending and descending scales, that instrument has a very bell / guitar quality that is very pretty in tone. As almost always, K, a lot of words and very poetic, very wise I am feeling as much as understanding yet.

The music at 2:55 makes a pleasant change that refreshes the song's vibe. Vocal melody is a wonderful fit for the music. Even though it repeats, each time feels subtly different, and even though this is all sung, it has conversational sensibilities in the delivery.

The harmony vox are exquisite. This song is pop rock diva stuff on the surface, but the music has some Jerry Garcia depth, really venturing into territories rarely entered by the average performer.

Well, maybe you can improve on it some more, but I love it already!
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Re: Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Postby Krispy » Sat Aug 31, 2013 6:54 am

Aww, thank you Stebs. I wrote this in 2006 - starting with some atypical drums 8-) - and then Julie (Zobear) played a bit of acoustic guitar around it. It had a Krispy DIY quirkiness but I always wanted to make more of it, and Gregg's always the man for that.

We are looking at percussion in the improved version.
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Re: Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Postby Krispy » Sat Aug 31, 2013 7:04 am

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Re: Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Postby Krispy » Wed Sep 18, 2013 3:11 pm

The new, and probably final, version:

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Re: Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Postby steban » Thu Sep 19, 2013 4:09 am

It sounds great! I miss Julie.

But I am still trying to discern a change in the drums. Maybe more as the song progressed...
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Re: Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Postby Krispy » Thu Sep 19, 2013 6:30 pm

There's percussion: congas and tabla and hand cymbals at the start and in the break (which the drums carried on through before).
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Re: Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Postby HUD » Thu Sep 26, 2013 12:45 pm

This really is a fabulous piece of work in all areas.
Production & arrangement are gold standard for DIY'ers.
Sheer loveliness.
As I returned across the lands I'd known
I recognized the fields where I'd once played
I had to stop in my tracks for fear
Of walking on the mines I'd laid
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Re: Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Postby Krispy » Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:57 pm

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Re: Phlogiston: Drawing Down the Sun

Postby ingolee » Tue Oct 01, 2013 4:58 pm

The new version of this song is excellent and enjoyable, just as the first edition was for me. The added percussion is good and I like it. I do still stand by my original suggestions (not criticisms). While the guitar work is very well done and appropriate, the nature of the lead vocal has me wanting it to stand alone so I can hear it and the lyrics more clearly.

Once upon a time I labored through the ordeal of the Epimethieus (sp?) collab and my main memory is liking the basic acoustic guitar and vocal version better than the final arrangement. That's one of Mr. Troll's strong points too I think, he can get that perfect blend between accompaniment and lead that might only happen in a "live" situation. The traditional combination of a "sweet" soprano-mezzo soprano voice with an acoustic guitar is very effective, and it's hard to get that blend with a bigger arrangement. And it won't work as well with a brassy Adele type voice either, she needs that big band behind her to support all that sound. So, acoustic guitar, maybe a muted upright bass and trap set, would be perfect I think. Just my opinion.
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